I'm Learning the Art of...?

SOMETHING NEW

It's 5.5 hours, approximately, after the exams and I haven't been productive at all. My "kasipagan" level is slowly decreasing to my academic disadvantge and to my body's enjoyment and relaxation. But whatever. Something's up. It seems that my theory is right. My theory states that during dull moments or instances when my mind is free to wander anywhere it wishes to, I tend of think of so many deep, personal things that make me so vulnerable than when my mind is too preoccupied to think of more profound things, like when doing school works, etc etc. And now, I can't keep those thoughts at bay and they're gradually attacking my impuissance since my laziness is at an "up" level and my guards are down.

All I can say is that I'm a very vulnerable individual no matter how I pretend to be strong. This "self" thing is crushing me. This "love" thing is not really helping, it's more like confusing (See what I mean? I tend to think of these things during the dull moments). But, like I always say, there's a right time for everything. These things have to wait. I'm not saying that I'm forcing myself not fall in love. All I'm saying is that, I may fall but I'm not going to tell. There will be that random moment that It'll just come out of my mouth and everything will fall into place. But what if, at that moment, the one that I've fallen for is already gone? And so starts my endless mantra of indecipherable truth. Well, one comforting idea is that if one can really love, one can never leave. It's always there, no matter what. Time won't matter. There's only that one person, that only one who can stay.

Well, this is what I'm going to do. Back to basics for me. Come what may. Back to ground zero. It's going to be a whole new day tomorrow. And one helluva new schoolyear next year. I'm looking forward to it, actually (not particularly to the "love" thing--I'm not looking for it, I want it to find me..teehee.. And until it does, the true one, of course, then I'll let everything fall into place..) I'm going to stick to that beautiful randomness thing.

I don't want to take anyone for granted. I'm only trying to get to know people for who they really are and how they are really like, behind the actors and actresses that they are. I'm really not into playing games. And I'm not worth messing with. Don't anyone dare mess with me or else, they'll regret it. Teehee.. I'm just keepin it real. There's already too much drama in the world and too much actors to mingle with, why don't we try something new? Why don't we try being true for once? Try it, it's going to be worth it.

Well, enough of my own thoughts, I'm gonna go nuts if this holds until later. I'm going to try to muster some "sipag" to do some schoolworks since I've already released my personal burden. Hahaha. I'm gonna leave it at that for now. And I want to thank Carla too. She's been really great! She knows about this actually. AHAHAHAHA!! Thanks bezz..(",)

Take care, u guyz..(",) Be senstive, I think I'm starting to fall.. hahahahahahahahahhahaahhahaha... :)) kidz! cheers!


enawor:punk_princess@me.com (chorva!)